If I die young

It is weird to think about death. Scary and daunting, because how would you ever have the heart to say goodbye to this world and leave? But since I came back from Kenya, many people has passed away. May it be my friend's friend or my little niece - one thing was of similar characteristic. They were all young like me. So it gets me wondering. What if I don't live to go to uni or graduate uni for that matter? What if I will not live to get married or have kids? How will my parents cope with my loss?

Sounds very morbid, but I know that you think of that too. All we can do is to prepare to die - meaning live everyday like its your last day on Earth. Although a very unpopular choice, I wouldn't want to be drinking and being wasted on my last day. I would rather be surrounded by the people that I love - sober. And yes, be close to God, thanking him for the time that He has given me. Most of the things on my bucket list has already been crossed off such as:

1. Going to volunteer in a 3rd world country - check!
2. Visit Africa - check!
3. Learn Quranic language - in progress but check!
4. Get into medical school - check!

Even those not originally on my bucket list but was awesome nonetheless:

1. Being a writer
2. Learned to sew
3. Helped kids go to school
4. Fell in love

and it is all because of Him. So even if I die now, I'll die a happy person.

I have a lot of interviews with ambassadors these days and one interview has stuck in my mind for sometime now. The Bangladesh Ambassador said to me "I believe that God is in everyone of us. So if I disrespect you, it is as if I am disrespecting God. But if I do good to you, I am doing service to God."

I thought, if only everyone else had the same idea, this world will be without war or violence. And when I visited the Palestinian Ambassador, I am just captivated at how strong he is despite on knowing how his people is suffering back home. "I hope to see my country free one day before I die so that my children and grandchildren will have a place to call home." Now that I have seen first-hand on the troubles and tribulations that a real Palestinian has faced, I proudly wear a wrist band saying Palestine - Freedom in green, white, black and red - courtesy of the Embassy of Palestine. :)

All of this, I take them as life lessons and I believe that slowly, but surely God is unravelling the beauty of this world to me. The beauty of His creations. And I love Him for showing them for me.

LOVE is a powerful word and it is my understanding that we should love God, not so much fear Him. People should only fear the consequences of their actions because at the end of the day, we are all held accountable. But fearing is like fearing an enemy or a really scary person whom might harm you. But God is just, kind, lawful, All-giving and All-forgiving and won't you want a loving and close relationship with Him? Like the love we have for our parents, we don't do what they said we shouldn't do because we LOVE them, and just like that - we should have a real relationship with God. Bring Him into your life and you will be surprised at how happy and easy your life will be. I know, from experience that it has worked for me.

But don't get me wrong - I am not perfect. But I am getting there, InsyaAllah. Till next time!